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Submitted on
February 3, 2013


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found this on tumblr:

I'm here to tell you how to find your canon patron troll!
John Egbert was born April 13th, which actually makes him an Aries. But Aradia isn't his patron troll, it's Vriska.
Here's why~
April is the 4th month of the year, thus making his birthday 4-13 in those number date things.
Then, you smoosh all the numbers together, and create the number we all know and love! 413! Now put addition signs between each of the numbers. 4+1+3= 8. WOOOAHHH. Who's the 8th sign in the Zodiac? VRISKA. Woah man!

Next, Jade!
Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-1. And together 121. 1+2+1= 4. Who's the fourth sign in the Zodiac? Cancer!! Thus Jade's patron troll is Karkat.
December 3rd. 12-3. 123. 1+2+3= 6. Virgo is the sixth sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Kanaya is Rose's patron troll.
December 4th. 12-4. 124. 1+2+4= 7. Libra is the seventh sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Terezi is Dave's patron troll.
Woah man, did I just blow your mind? I hope so.
This also helps me remember all the kid's birthdays.
Anyway, another example. My birthday is November 11, so 11-11, 1111, 1+1+1+1=4. Thus my patron is Karkat.
Another note, you may get an answer OVER 12! Do not fret, the next step is [A] pulling up your calculator and dividing the sum by 12. If the product is 1.5 or less, your patron is Aradia. If it's 1.6 or higher, it's Tavros. (At least, these are guidelines I go by.)
And for your reference:
1 - Aradia
2 - Tavros
3 - Sollux
4 - Karkat
5 - Nepeta
6 - Kanaya
7 - Terezi
8 - Vriska
9 - Equius
10 - Gamzee
11 - Eridan
12 - Feferi

it makes more sense to me to subtract by 12, so you get the same number, technically. for example, someone born on 9-29 would end up getting 20 (9+2+9=20), which is 12+8, so their canon troll would be the 8th troll, Vriska, instead of dividing by 12 and getting 1.666... and ending up Tavros. this just makes more sense to me, but you can do what you want *shrug*
  • Mood: Bemused
  • Listening to: my voice
  • Reading: Homestuck & Jane's pesterlogs
  • Playing: Zelda 3DS
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timidoodle Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
zodiac is gamzee and patron is vriska .... why do i get the psychos smh
unicorndomination Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Student Photographer
08/21, then 0+8+2+1=11..... whyyyyy? im nepeta tho
unicorndomination Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Student Photographer
i dont understand how to do this
HeEeEeY22 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  New member  Digital Artist
What if my answer is ZERO. Most other patron calculators has a rule against that so idk which ones are flawed or not
MLPVOCALOID122 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oh i understand how you did this !!!
you lined up low bloods through highbloods ( ・ω・ )
ILikeToDrawHomestuck Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
my Zodiac is Erridan and my patron is Terezi. Hellz yes.
nanackerel Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
my zodiac is nepeta and my patron is fef omf fefeta
sledgey Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
huhu my zodiac is equius and my patron is nepeta

goddamnit i wanted karkat
Blazing-H3art Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My zodiac is Vriska and Vriska is my patron troll.
Nepeta-Leijon-HS Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yesssssss  mine is Nepeta hueeeee
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