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Submitted on
February 3, 2013


18,680 (5 today)
122 (who?)
found this on tumblr:

I'm here to tell you how to find your canon patron troll!
John Egbert was born April 13th, which actually makes him an Aries. But Aradia isn't his patron troll, it's Vriska.
Here's why~
April is the 4th month of the year, thus making his birthday 4-13 in those number date things.
Then, you smoosh all the numbers together, and create the number we all know and love! 413! Now put addition signs between each of the numbers. 4+1+3= 8. WOOOAHHH. Who's the 8th sign in the Zodiac? VRISKA. Woah man!

Next, Jade!
Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-1. And together 121. 1+2+1= 4. Who's the fourth sign in the Zodiac? Cancer!! Thus Jade's patron troll is Karkat.
December 3rd. 12-3. 123. 1+2+3= 6. Virgo is the sixth sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Kanaya is Rose's patron troll.
December 4th. 12-4. 124. 1+2+4= 7. Libra is the seventh sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Terezi is Dave's patron troll.
Woah man, did I just blow your mind? I hope so.
This also helps me remember all the kid's birthdays.
Anyway, another example. My birthday is November 11, so 11-11, 1111, 1+1+1+1=4. Thus my patron is Karkat.
Another note, you may get an answer OVER 12! Do not fret, the next step is [A] pulling up your calculator and dividing the sum by 12. If the product is 1.5 or less, your patron is Aradia. If it's 1.6 or higher, it's Tavros. (At least, these are guidelines I go by.)
And for your reference:
1 - Aradia
2 - Tavros
3 - Sollux
4 - Karkat
5 - Nepeta
6 - Kanaya
7 - Terezi
8 - Vriska
9 - Equius
10 - Gamzee
11 - Eridan
12 - Feferi

it makes more sense to me to subtract by 12, so you get the same number, technically. for example, someone born on 9-29 would end up getting 20 (9+2+9=20), which is 12+8, so their canon troll would be the 8th troll, Vriska, instead of dividing by 12 and getting 1.666... and ending up Tavros. this just makes more sense to me, but you can do what you want *shrug*
  • Mood: Bemused
  • Listening to: my voice
  • Reading: Homestuck & Jane's pesterlogs
  • Playing: Zelda 3DS
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Kriimiinal Featured By Owner 5 hours ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lmao i got Karkat
no wonder I can relate to him pff
neko3472 Featured By Owner 2 days ago   General Artist
Zodiac: Tavros
Patron: Kanaya
BuzzyBee03 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Zodiac: Aradia
Patron: Nepeta
Woah xD
LadyDevilTemptation Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist
Zodiac: Feferi
Patron: Eridan
LeEpicMuffin Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  New member
zodiac troll : equius
patron troll: equius
 whyyy equius i dont want any horses
BanditArtaku Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2015  Student General Artist
Zodiac Troll: Tavros
Patron Troll: Eridan

Wow, I didn't expect to get my two favorites all in one fell swoop. I was actually expecting someone around the lines of Equius...despite my indifference towards the character.

(If this was even a plausible scenario, I expect I'd be listening to Eridan's girl-problems more than his "advice", despite the fact that he's my patron troll. However, I'm not complaining.  ;D)
DarwinistFan Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015
Well, okay then...
(How does this make sense...?)
LittleStarredBook Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015  Student Digital Artist
I got...


I wanted Eridan,Fef, or Nepeta ;=;
BuzzyBee03 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
lol My patron is Nepeta and my zodiac is Aradia XT
Me0wNerdySweetsMe0w Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015
The My patron is equius
But he's my least favorite wth
PugTime01 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014   General Artist
I'm so confused >.<
BuzzyBee03 Featured By Owner Edited 4 days ago
Here; I'll help you:

When's your birthday?
NatureGrrl Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Zodiac: Equius
Patron: Terezi

*smirking happily*
Theanimeangel Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2014
Feferi :3
Imperfection-Of-Life Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I have Tavros!!! :D
Bramblemask23 Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Student General Artist
Aradia or Sollux! This is hilarious since my star sign is in between.
Emilisparkles Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014
Gammzeeeee ^o^
flashpointparadox01 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
KroheTheProxy Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Student General Artist

AnimeLover8000 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014
Isn't this wrong?
Dave's birthday isn't the 4th, it's the 3rd. And Rose's birthday is the 4th.
snowflakenerds Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist
The funny thing is, my sister's patron troll is Terezi.
Her Zodiac troll is also Terezi.
jennee6 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
zodiac is sollux and patron is gamzee

BuzzyBee03 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Lucky XT
Gaara-NoSubaku Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2014
My Zodiac Troll is Vriska. Funny because 8 is my favourite number, I was born on the 28th of October, and Scorpio is the 8th Zodiac Sign. I hate on myself when people hate on me, but I can be an ass. I have fun messing with people/ annoying them.  Bad things usually happen to me and I think I have horrible luck. I still care about my friends though.
The only way I'm really like Eridan is the having lots of crushes, and that's probably only because I'm a teenage girl. And I think that's normal. I also like magic. I can also get annoying, but I care about my friends. 

I get all the mean trolls. :3
AskEarthPrincess Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014
Um my birthday is 4/4 how would I do that?
Kiutetsu Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
AskEarthPrincess Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014
timidoodle Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
zodiac is gamzee and patron is vriska .... why do i get the psychos smh
unicorndomination Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Student Photographer
08/21, then 0+8+2+1=11..... whyyyyy? im nepeta tho
unicorndomination Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2014  Student Photographer
i dont understand how to do this
HeEeEeY22 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014   Digital Artist
What if my answer is ZERO. Most other patron calculators has a rule against that so idk which ones are flawed or not
pepperfawn Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
oh i understand how you did this !!!
you lined up low bloods through highbloods ( ・ω・ )
ILikeToDrawHomestuck Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
my Zodiac is Erridan and my patron is Terezi. Hellz yes.
nanackerel Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
my zodiac is nepeta and my patron is fef omf fefeta
squealing Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
huhu my zodiac is equius and my patron is nepeta

goddamnit i wanted karkat
Blazing-H3art Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My zodiac is Vriska and Vriska is my patron troll.
Nepeta-Leijon-HS Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yesssssss  mine is Nepeta hueeeee
Vocaloid-craft Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Student Writer
I don't know if I did this right soo... Yeah

Birthday: June 16th
1+6+6= 13
13/12= 1.0
Sooo.. Aradia?
BuzzyBee03 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
rAndoMCitIzen12 Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2014  Student General Artist
my zodiac is aradia and I got terezi as my patron...

I guess that's nice?
MihaelManson Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
I got Eridan (June 5) as my patron troll and my zodiac is Sollux. That is... Not good  Oh Noes! 
superkawaiiloser Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014
i dont get this...can somebody help me? my birthday is Nov 15.
MihaelManson Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
Your birthday is 11/15, then 1+1+1+5=8, so your patron is Vriska C:
superkawaiiloser Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014
nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu i can not escape da vriska!!! anyways,thanks :)
linkchu22 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i got kanaya
roro-the-foxie-615 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Zodiac: Eridan
Patron: Gamzee (I liek him)

Well, this is awesome.
silvervixenbabydoll Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
im august 21 so 8+2+1= 11? Eridan?

Cool I like him though every other quiz/test I took said my patron troll was Karkat....
Either way lets the adorabubble puns commence!
PsychoTeensie Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Karkat, apparently! SWEET! (December 10th.. basically Jade's Bday with a 0 added.. thereby resulting in Kar)

Though in this calculator I got Terezi. It seemed to get the Beta kids perfectly, as well.. Gosh, I dunno which seems more likely, but I REALLY dig the result I got from this journal!
Alpha-Azure Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
What about 11/7 and 6/18?
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